Its one effing month la k..I got it up to my eye balls. This is one of those post which I know someday I’ll regret writing it..but right now..I am pissed! Very very pissed..that all I can do is cry! I dunno why…but yeah..that happens to me! People around me being uncontrolable, nobody understand the frustrations…I wanna just tell u exactly how I feel..but I can’t..why…coz I just can’t. Im so mad at a lot of ppl…but I can’t tell them so, coz I know Im better off.

I just needed to do this..I needed to vent off my feelings…so now since Im done..Im gonna wipe away these tears of frustration and get back to life!

Bev wishes to dance in the rain, while Becca prances along.
Bev wishes to skydive next to David Beckham.
Bev wishes to have the “Spider-man kiss”.
Bev wishes to fall in love.
Bev wishes to talk all night long to that one special person.
Bev wishes to take a random road trip.
Bev wishes to go on a concert tour with the BSB’s.
Bev wishes to have more money.
Bev wishes to watch a EPL match in Old Trafford.
Bev wishes to stare at into that one person’s eyes, knowing that HE is the one.
Bev wishes to watch a sunset tomorrow evening.
Bev wishes to watch the sunrise the next day.
Bev wishes to feel this contented for a long long time.

*Bev is happy..Bev is hyper-viper!!!*

This week, Im totaly at amazement of how some people can be so immature and shallow at the same time. Never expected this from them. Well, is guess I should expect the unexpected. It’s really interesting how a bunch or 20 sumthing year old can choose to behave that immature. Im enjoying this la..really…I’m just gonna keep watching how low you can stoop! Good job! Keep it up..it’s only making you look so good! *wink*

People I’m Missing a lotttttt….: Rebecca Joyce, Desiree Mathews, Yuhan Prakash, Samson Thomas, Martin Jeyaraj, Augustine ( eventho I see almost everyday) and my cute lil secret keeper..(yea, I know..I see u all the time too)

Lastly…quoting someone I know….the theme of this week issssss
“immaturity at its best”

*Cheers to all the haters and their immaturity*

I’m glad with the way a lot of things are heading…and at the same time disappointed by a few dramas around. I seriously hope all will turn out well. Whatever it is…you know I am there for you right?

Had an awesome night with the girls on wednesday..Me, Becca, Charissa, Catherine and Shana. It was really nice, drinks, chats and the dancing. Thanx for a great nite out girls! *wink*

On another note, I’m glad with all the messages and chats that we have been having..you know who you are. *wink again*. Happiness!

Ohhh yeaah

Sometimes
I feel like im going out of
My mind,

Boy the way you do me is a
Damn crime,

But then you smile at me
And its allright,

With you there ain’t no inbetween…

Everytime that i walk out the door
I tell myself i can’t take it no more

Theres a part of me won’t let you go
I keep sayin’ yes when my minds sayin no..

Chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know if i should hate you or miss you
Damn i wish that i could resist you
Can’t decide if i should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues,issues,issues
We got issues issues issues.

Its awful, boy you leave me hangin for so long
You empty out my love until its all gone
You change the words but still its the same song
Im tired of the melody

Change my number and throw out your clothes
But my feelings for you, they still show
I keep building the walls round my heart
But then i see you it all falls apart…

Chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know if i should hate you or miss you
Damn i wish that i could resist you
Can’t decide if i should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues,issues,issues
We got issues issues issues.

Wanna fight it, can’t hide it
Truth is i think i like it
But in future, illusion
Still i don’t know which way to go…..chorus:
Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know if i should hate you or miss you
Damn i wish that i could resist you
Can’t decide if i should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know if i should hate you or miss you
Damn i wish that i could resist you
Can’t decide if i should slap you or kiss you,
Me and my heart we got issues

Me and my heart we got issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues
We got issues, issues, issues,

Me and my heart we got issues
Don’t know if i should hate you or miss you
Me and my heart we got issues…..x

[Keri Hilson:]
Not again
Oh this ain’t supposed to happen to me

[Kanye West:]
Keep rockin and keep knockin’
Whether you’re Louie Vuittonin’ it up, or Reebokin’
You see the hate that they serving on a plater
So what we gon have dessert or disaster?

[Keri Hilson:]
I never thought I’d be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Feels like I’m in a race but I already won first place

I never thought I fall for you as hard as I did (as hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinking about our life, our house and kids (Yeah)
Every morning I look at you and smile
Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down (knocked me down)

[Chorus:]
Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

[Ne-Yo:]
I never thought I hear myself say
Ya’ll gon hate
I think I’m going to kick it with my girl today
I used to be commander-in-chief for my pimp ship flying high
Till I met this pretty little missile, who shot me out the sky

So now I’m crashing don’t know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could go back and make it happen faster
Don’t you know i would baby if I could
Miss independent, to the fullest, the load never too much
She helping me pull it, she shot bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
[ Keri Hilson Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

[Kanye West:]
Tell me now can you make past your caspers
So we could finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams
To seem to only date the head of football teams,
And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing
We were never meant to be, baby we just happened
So please don’t mess up the trick,
Hey young world, I’m the new slick rick,
They say I move to quick but we can’t let this moment past us,
Let the hour glass pass right into ashes
Let the wind blow the ashes right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
how could a goddess ask someone that’s only average, for advice
O-M-G you listen to that bitch?
Woah is me, baby this is tragic
Cause we had it, we was magic
I was flying, now I’m crashing
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I’m mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I’ma ask him

[Keri Hilson:]
So you gotta take the good with the bad, the happy and the sad
Or will you bring the better future then I had in the past
Cause I don’t want to make the same mistakes i did
I don’t wanna fall back on my face again
Woah, woah
I’ll admit it, I was scared to answer loves call
Woah, woah
And if it hits, better make it worth the fall

(When it comes around)

Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around (comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

Won’t see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love comes knocks you down

Won’t see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down

Oh well, It’s been awhile since I blogged…there has been too many stuffs happening at once..I couldnt really find the time for this. Neway, too begin the whole update-thingy….I just have to share how amazed and excited I am that I got a chance to watch Manchester United live and kicking in Malaysia..not once,not twice…butttttttt….three times….Training, 1st match n 2nd match. Awesome-ness! They were amazing, this was something that I’ve always wanted to watch. They first match, Mum paid for my tix..I think just to save herself from all the drama I would have put her through if she didn’t and the 2nd match..Charissa got me the tix as a birthday present! Woohoo! Words can’t describe how incredible the feeling is..to witness all that.

Second thing is that We moved!!!!! Yeah..we finally did…after 18 frigging years in that house..no wait a minute..not friggin..but cherished years of my life. Moved to Sri Gombak phase 6 when I was 5, moved out….23 years old..yeah, damn! Still in Sri Gombak tho, just a different phase and I have to add that I love my new room. It’s so much bigger than my last room..which I loved too, but somehow, I’ve learnt to love this one! And it comes with a balcony and all..fancy! Apparently has more room for the many sleepovers that I host…lol! Though we have left Disturbia, I guess now this house needs to be baptised and named..lol! So, ppl, it’s time to make u mark here…Coming up.the rave party!..lol!

And, I thank god that a few things has been really well for me. Things between me and a few ppl have been surprising well. Me and Mr. rapper made our peace and things are pretty good. And I’m glad for all those late night calls and smses, I guess that has improved in many ways. And things between me and the other best friend will hoepfully get better..*fingers-crossed*. Good times! Oh….and Rumballs…damn..*drool*….We will be goin out soon..lol! And the other one…well, I’ve come to realise that we will remain friends la..we have fun just goofing around! Contentment! I’m glad that a few things are sorted out, tho there are still a few more setbacks here n there and a few more ppl that I don’t think anything positive will happen anytime soon..so yeah, for now…*Bev is happy*

* This is one of the songs that I really love, awesome lyrics which manages to dig deep into the heart..and I love the title too*

Do you dream, that the world will know your name
So tell me your name
And do you care, about all the little things
or anything at all?

I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside, I wanna feel
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I’m alive
To know I’m alive

Don’t tell me if I’m dying, cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun, maybe I should go
Don’t wake me cause I’m dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

Do you believe, in the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe
And do you know that every day’s the first
Of the rest of your life

Don’t tell me if I’m dying, cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun, maybe I should go
Don’t wake me cause I’m dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother’s love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us, to all of us

So don’t tell me if I’m dying, cause I don’t wanna know
If I can’t see the sun, maybe I should go
Don’t wake me cause I’m dreaming, of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to, when no one’s left to take your side
But don’t tell me where the road ends, cause I just don’t wanna know, No I don’t wanna know

Don’t tell me if I’m dying
Don’t tell me if I’m dying

 

  It’s really sad to see how the world is at sorrow over the lost of the ‘King of Pop”. When he was alive, the whole world could only think about different ways to bring him down….but as he left, it mourns. Thats the human nature, we NEVER appreciate whats before us till its too darn late.

  I normally find it so difficult to stay up past 2am…without alcohol..heheh. But then, when it came to paying tribute the man that brought life so much of different colours, well, I just had to. I only got a few hours of sleep, but it’s all worth it. I keep replaying and watching coverages on CNN, E! and the net. Yesterday, as I was driving back home, I realized that this dude had a lot of impact on my life.

  I wasn’t really a crazy fan of MJ, I just loved his music, coz I sometimes found his character a little funny. But after his death, a lot of truth was revealed, and I begin cherishing the person that he was. When I was younger, I remember Aunty Lin used to play his songs everytime, thats when I discovered him. I remember watching the “thriller’ videoclip is Grandma n Grandpa’s house and trying to copy some moves..lol. Then I would show it off to Ma when she got back from work. As I grew up, MJ was constantly in my life, well, what you get being born in the 80’s..he was a part of every kid of that era. We listened to his music all the time, I even remember when he was down in Malaysia…I begged to see him..but well, I was too young at that time and the answer was no.

  So, I just had to pay my tribute to him yesterday. I watched the memorial and cried my heart out. It was like loosing my childhood friend. Like it was someone very dear to me in that casket. It took my by surprise when the Jackson bothers wheeled in the casket. It didnt quite see that coming. It was a beautiful ceremony..fit for the KING of HEARTS. I will never forget Usher’s performance and also what Paris had to say about her daddy.

  Finally Michael, u can rest in peace, away from the drama, away for the negativity. God wanted another one of his angel back, may u enjoy ur eternal peace. Hope that one day, I will meet u on the other side. Love you Michael. You’ll always be in my heart…and someday, my kids will also learn about the wonderful legend that walked the face of the earth. There’ll never EVER be anyone like you! Rest in Peace..it’s all over, U’ll live in my heart.

 

  So, Love and Lofe 09 meetings started today…and I’m the head of Logistics…sigh…ahem-ahem! Not much work, compared to what I had last year, I find myself constantly getting a rush everytime there’s something to do with Music and Liturgy..haih, sedih-sedih! But nevertheles, this year started with a whollllllleeeeeeeeee lot of changes, so lets see what will happen.

  We were given a book to pen down our journey as a faci from today till the day of the camp, and I’m gonna treat that as my journal-my spiritual journey + all the frustrations + all the drama involved in forming me to be a faci for this year.

*Hope this journey is gonna be a good one and makes me a better person*