Well, I wanted a vacation and now I got it. Leaving to Bali next week, hopefully to have fun and forget all the recent dramas in life..but then again, my life is filled with drama. I miss des, cant wait to talk to her. It always good to pour out ur innermost feelings to someone who means a hell lot to you.

   Recently, there has been too much changes in life, simple things that have carved a place in my heart. Things that I keep beating myself about, wondering why this..and not that…why me and not him/her…why now and not then….why..why..why. I dont think I’ll ever stop questioning myself. I guess I’ve reached a point where I just wanna scream and walk away, but it’s too late. Some people may view things differently as I do, but then again, blame me if I choose to care. There are a lot of times when I have to stop myself for saying things, and also there are times when I wonder why I dont say anything at all.

  I dont view my life as messed up, I just think I need to handle it differently. Maybe learn from my lessons, learn the hard way, Heck, that’s the only way I have been learning. Being strong never comes easy, u just gotta hang in there,right? And there are also times when u have to withdraw from a lot of things, attachments…maybe. Sometimes giving too much is not a good thing. It may not be appreciated or even known….so it all boils down to the way u feel when u put your head down to sleep and think about the whole day…that’s when u actually ask urself..are u happy? what have I done wrong?

  Yes, I am happy..but not satisfied. Period. So, maybe the vacation will do me good. Sitting by the beach, enjoying the company…and doing some deep thinking and self evaluation..(yes..big word)..lol.