Haven’t Met You Yet

I’m Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I’ve Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It’ll All Turn Out
You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

Mmmmm ….

I Might Have To Wait
I’ll Never Give Up
I Guess It’s Half Timing
And The Other Half’s Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It’s Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ……

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

They Say All’s Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won’t Need To Fight It
We’ll Get It Right
And We’ll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm …..

And Someday I Know It’ll All Turn Out
And I’ll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I’ll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It’ll All Turn Out
And You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love …..
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet
Love Love Love …..
I Just Haven’t Met You Yet

*Me likey…somehow when U feel this way…songs like this makes u realize more and more*

Gingerbread man..Jamrock :)

Well, nobody is interested in hearing me crap about how hot Roshan is..so i’ll just crap here and feel contented la k. First of all………Roshan is somking hot la k. I tried getting people to listen to me..about how hot he is..but I was ignored..so yeah.

The launch was nice..I was so excited when I saw him..Oh, the smile..sigh..that smile..is awesome. He is also quite nice la, the last time I saw him he was stoning..so this time to see a sober side of him was pretty good. He looked panas, wei. The album is pretty nice..a lot of weird-ness to it..but then again..I like the whole crunk genre..and its also a mixture of a lot of others too. Nice one! Must get my hands on it soon!

My hugest Malaysian celebrity crush..Roshan Jamrock! U know, I used to find it damn weird when all these chics scream their heads off when Yuhan, or even Samson and Martin are performing..but yeah, I know how it feels la..to have someone really hot go on stage.. I remember how I told my mum that this is the guy of my dreams..(well, not now..technically..I think I’ve already found the dude) but yeah, being young as I was…he was like wow…hot, panas..!

Its not only coz he’s hot..but I think he’s pretty down to earth la..but then again,I dont know him well enough la..So here’s a blog to Roshan…not many ppl get to be on my blogs..so yeah..heheheh! Now Im satisfied…I said what I wanted to say…ROSHAN is hot..very very hot! I have a crush on him..oh damn!

PS: All I can do is sit and laugh, you should see how annoyed u get when I talk about Roshan..jangan jealous..(you know who u are)

Hectic Giler!

This semester is by far the worst la..I’m in my 5th semester now..and it’s literally killing me. The thing is, there’s so much work, I really don’t friggin know where to start. It’s coz of all these, that my sleeping pattern has changed…sigh. It’s either I’ll be too tired that I can’t sleep, or I’ll fall asleep while I’m driving, which could end up killing me someday…sigh.

I’ve got my reseacrh proposal to do, I’ve got journals to find and read, I’ve got to study extra hard for my finals…coz I think I screwed up my mid sems. Then, there’s all the other unecessary activities involved…some stupid mentoring activity and some carnival crap. Oh, and then some health science day..like seriously la..cant they like leave us alone so we can concentrate on whats important..like studying and getting good CGPAs?????? Sigh, hating this sem..seriously. Cant wait for it to be over. Right now, I just need to vent, then I’ll go back to staying positive and keeping up the spirit! Woohoo!

I didnt go for class today…I needed a break. Woke up late, watched Glee..which was nice btw, then…sat and did some work. Btw, I miss you a lot…I wish that yesterday didnt mess things up..but yeah. I really do miss you.

The reply

The phone call today made my day. I’m glad that…wow…I’m glad to say that I felt special. I rushed back home to read what was written, and through my dinner of Mee Goreng..I teared. I appreciated it, so much so..I kept reading it a few million times. I’m hoping to ‘enjoy’ the upgraded version of you..as yeah, U’ll be also seeing a more happier side of me this very year. All I can say is, Thank You…U make me realize that all that was worth it, coz the fact remains that..Ur special to me.

*Finishes her Mee Goreng and smiles*

Becca..the random chic!

-It starts off with me being frustrated la..-

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
coz i promised myself a darn gud year
so im trying to live up to it la
yeah
im just very frustrated

Rebecca says:
chill la… it can happen all the time… it’s life…
*can’t
at times you just can’t control emotions.. they are like children who has ADD…

M!zZ B3veRLyN says: wtf…heheheheheh
thanx la..ur hillarious
did u just imply that i have ADD

Rebecca says: i
‘m serious la!!! why doesn’t anyone take me seriously… *shakes head..
and yes you do have ADD at times…

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
no like really..u just say the randomest things

Rebecca says:
want to hear another random fact??

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
yeah

Rebecca says: i just realize that there are no owls in malaysia…. never seen or heard an owl before…
it’s damn sad isn’t it…

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
wat
where the **** have u been
there millions of owls in malaysia
ive seen so many

Rebecca says:
haven’t SEEN any!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
in front of my house got..

Rebecca says:
i live in an apartment most of my life…

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
so if u havent seen…that means u just disregard the fact that theres no owls in malaysia
so
ish..ignorant

Rebecca says:
i have never seen ONE LA!!!!!!

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
omg…ur damn random
im gonna post this coversation on my blog
heheheheheheheheheheheh
thanx for the laughter

Rebecca says:
this is serious k…. it’s not funny!!!!

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
how the heck is this serious
no owls my ass la

Rebecca says:
i want to see an owl!!! i haven’t seen one!!

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
heheheheheh…sad life la u

Rebecca says:
ish.. promise me before i die, you will show me an owl….

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
………..o………..k
i promise u Rebecca Joyce Pereira that I, Beverlyn Nathan Batmanathan, will definitely show u..or rather point out an owl to u.

M!zZ B3veRLyN says: any other random fact
common..i know u have more stupidity in u

Rebecca says:
it just suddenly hit me that i have never seen one.. then i went into this whole depression state… interesting what your mind can suddenly do to you….

M!zZ B3veRLyN says:
oh god…u were depressed coz u didnt see a freaking owl
u seriously have probs la

Rebecca says:
yeah… wouldn’t you be if you have never seen a creature of God before!!!!
something that is among us but you have never seen it… its like choosing to hide from you….

M!zZ B3veRLyN says: heheheheheheeheheheheheheheheheh
oh god…
what the hell are u made of la becca

Rebecca says: a whole lot of messed up things…

*see what I go through most of the time??? sigh…and I claim her my best friend…*shakes head*

Roller coaster ride

The title says it all..it’s been such an emotional roller coaster ride for the past few days. And it’s not a pretty sight. The loss, the pain, the happiness, the excitement, the fact that I had to stand and watch it happen. It was a nightmare. It was tough…really tough. It sucks not being able to vent out anything here. I cant say much as it might get too messy. It was the hardest thing I did by just watching and not being able to do anything to make things better. The coming days and months are not gonna be easy too, it’s gonna keep getting really hard. All I know that I’ll be there, even if I cant make things better, I’ll try to initiate a smile or better still, laughter. All I know is that, time heals and God will make things better. So be strong and remember that Im here for you!

If I fell…

If I fell in love with you,
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand.

Cause I’ve been in love before
And I’ve found that love was more,
Than just holding hands.

If I give my heart to you,
I must be sure from the very start
That you would love me more than her.

If I trust in you,
Oh please, don’t run and hide.
If I love you too,
Oh please, don’t hurt my pride like her,

Cause I couldn’t stand the pain.
And I, would be sad if our new love was in vain,
So I hope you see,
That I would love to love you.

If I fell in love with you.

*Already am…so what the heck*

The New Year..New twist!

Hey, so yeah, It’s been a long while since I actually updated the blog. It’s been a great new year so far, though there has been a whole lot of twist in life. Some of it are amazing (smile) and some of it…well, just utterly bad. I feel this was bound to happen, so yeah, all I can pretty much do is just blog about it and hope that this might make a difference.

*You know that I am always blunt about my feelings…most of the time and yeah, as I have been trying to please you in many ways, I guess it didnt work la. For starters, I am true to the bond but if you think I’m not worthy of it, so be it. It will be really tough for me, coz U mean a lot..but I can’t really help it if you’re gonna choose to despise me over whatever that has filled your mind. Looking back, I’ve always seen myself adoring you and practically going extra miles just to put a smile on your face….I guess all that didn’t matter to you. I know that whatever respect I have for you wont die, and the love…well,the love will always be there. I may have to control tears when I see you..but I guess I’ll be fine. I understand that you may think I have done a few things…but there’s always two sides to a story. This time, I choose to just let it go…no, Im not giving up..I’m just learning to let go.

You mean a lot to me, you know it..as I always make it a point to tell you. Im sure you might find this really hillarious, but I can’t help it if you can’t see through my raw emotions. You have made me the person that I am, and knowing you has always been a pleasure. So much so, that everyone…and that includes The Special One..even he knows how much you mean to me. The silence is killing me, its eating at my very core, but if this is how u want things to be..I respect that. If I have hurt u in any way that I didnt realize, I am sorry. Truly am. I believe that life is too short to stay mad at someone you truly love, but if this is how you want it..so be it. I still adore you, You are not like the others, you are closer to me than most of them. Coz it’s you that I think about when I need a shoulder to cry on. Well, since that is not happening…I will learn to be strong and depend on myself when things go wrong. I need a change, and that’s why I’m trying to make a difference. We’ll see how things goes…but remember, I love you a lot and all these tears are still worth it coz of the bond that we shared. Thank you*

Now moving on to more happy thoughts……………..I finally agreed to do something that someone really special to me had asked me to do. Last week, I embarked on a journey, and it took me places I never thought I would visit again. I felt the dire need to make a difference this year, so that’s why I need to find the key I need in life.

I’m loving the new year, it has a lot of happy days. Days when I wake up and just smile to myself. Knowing that I’ll be meeting that Special One..makes my day. I believe that time will tell, so yeah..here is me, waiting for great things to happen this year. And yes, I have this positive feeling in my heart that I’m about to be blest with loads of good things. I also think that….I think that Im in..oh well, Im not gonna jinx it. Loads of things has been happening with him, I guess, I’ll just have to wait n seeeeeeee…Happiness!

WHY?

Why the mind games? Why the drama? Why all the messages and sappiness? Why all the concern? Why the calls? Why the random flirtatious moments? Why? Why the wait? Why is it that I’m the one u choose to tell all to? Why? Why not say something? Why dont you try to?

I’ll stop with the whys…:) Well, I cant really help but ask why…so yeah..its a random post, I know. I just have to vent out somewhere, and this is the best place. Hopefully you read this……..and get the picture…clown! I keep falling n falling n falling…arrrghh..Kill me!

You’re My Wonderwall

* I dont believe that ANYBODY feels the way I do about YOU now *wink* lol

Today is gonna be the day
That they’re gonna throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don’t believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don’t know how

Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You’re my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they’ll never throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you’re not to do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don’t know how

I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You’re my wonderwall

I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You’re my wonderwall

Said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
You’re gonna be the one that saves me

-Emotions..emotions…emotions..this song has played an important role in many parts and stages of my life-